Cliched
by I Speak Muffin
Summary: Lets mock all the cliched Kingdom Hearts stories!
1. Unexpected!

Haha! I'm bored and in media class!

DISCLAIMER! No own...

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Sora - OMR! We're finally back from all that horrible stuff that happened and I've finally found Riku! I must tell everyone the truth now! Riku, I have secretly been in love with you this entire time!

Riku - OMS! I secretly have loved you too!

Kairi - I am so happy for the both of you even though I am madly in love with Sora and possibly Riku!"

Xemnas - I'm just here to screw things up!

Roxas - And I'm just here to make out with Axel!

Axel - Got it memorized?!

All - YAY!

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Yeah I'm bored...Uh oh...Teacher coming, gotta run!


	2. Mansex

-1My internet hates me!! WHOO!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing….  
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Knock Knock!

Xemnas - Come in!

Roxas - OMR! You know what I just realized?

Xemnas - How to defeat Sora?

Roxas - Your name spells Mansex!!!

Xemnas - ….

Roxas - Hey everyone! Xemnas' real name is Mansex!

Everyone - (laughs at Mansex)

Xemnas - I'll show you mansex!

-This content has been censored due to the extremely graphic mansex- 

-Wow! You should see this-

-insert a lot of yaoi-

-insert multiple pairings- 

-insert basically a yaoi based story with no plot-

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	3. Keyblade Master

-1I'm trying to update every story I wrote at 12:00 am!  
DISCLAIMER: Your mom!  
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**Kairi is the true key blade master**

It was a dark and stormy night and everyone was stuck on the island when it begins to be quickly filled with terrifying heartless. Sora, being the idiot he is, runs out of the little shack to face the creatures. He gets in a fighting stance and awaits for his keyblade. But it never comes.

"Wha- I'm the keyblade master! Where the hell is my keyblade?!" Sora shouted into the darkness as the heartless swarmed him. There was a sudden flash of brightness that blinded Sora followed by gasps and "Oooo"s and possibly a few "Awwww"s.  
"Oh no! I have become the damsel in distress and I need the true keyblade master to save me!" Sora shouted as the heartless began to claw at him. The small dainty shack door swung open and revealed that Kairi had the Kingdom Key.

"I shall save you and everyone else not that I have found that I am the true keyblade master!" Kairi triumphally stated. She then proceeds to be the best fighter ever and kill all the heartless/nobodies/or any other monster.

"Oh Kairi! You're so the best Keyblade master in all of history! We're going to celebrate and completely forget that Sora was supposed to be the Keyblade master!" Riku enthusiastically chirped.


	4. x3's The Charm

Disclaimer: Hahaha…-sigh- I own nothing!

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_**Spelling and Grammar**_

Kairi - OMG Soar! I lyk cant sp3k enlich!

Sora - Me b the some Kai. Quick 2 fnd Rikki! He help!

-Sora and Kairi run off, looking for Riku-

-Sora and Kairi find Riku-

Sora - OMFG Rikku! Wrong something cat skep probarly!

-Riku cocked his head to the side and stared oddly at Sora-

Riku - WTF did you just say?

Kairi - Thy anglish hath bine stucketh with improper!

-Riku gawked at Kairi-

-Suddenly the author decides to describe the character's clothes…With terrible spelling and grammar-

Kiar it werring pink dresses with suffing. Sora be werring same thing ecept blk. Riku wore noting.

-Then everything blew up because that's the plot!-

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_****__**The Author Makes An Appearance**_

Kairi sat quietly, watching as the boys continued their pointless bickering.

"I speak better muffin than you!" Sora screamed.

"Your muffin speaking skills have nothing on my muffin speaking skills!" Growled Riku.

Suddenly there was a giant roar that came from the sky.

"NONE OF YOU HAVE MUFFIN SPEAKING SKILLS LIKE I!" Sora whimpered and hid behind Riku who just stood there and stared at the sky.

Now, the author thought the characters should be doing more so she fell from the sky, poofed in, and/or ran in at the speed of light. The pretty author flipped her hair and cockily smirked at the dumbfounded characters.

"I am the amazing authoress and I have co-" Ms. "Amazing Authoress" stated but was soon cut off by our favorite brunette.

"Wait, you're the reason why I'm not only so…So…STUPID, but also the reason for me being with half the cast's male population?" Sora stood, towering over the tiny girl who nervously chuckled and scratched the back of her head.

"You're the reason why I'm either always evil or dead!" Screeched Kairi.

"Hey, hey. We can work this out," The Authoress grinned and defenselessly raised her hands in the air.

What happened next would require you to have a strong stomach and be over the age of 18.

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_********__Kingdom Hearts AIM_

******T********ehkeyblademaster** has signed on

******TheDarkness6000 **has signed on

******BlondhairedEMO **has signed on

******YourNobody **has signed on

******Tehkeyblademaster** says: OMG LOL we all signed on at the same time!

******BlondhairedEMO** says: haha Sora..I'm going to be emo and say emo stuff because that is the author's will and because my name is Cloud…and I'm emo….I want nipple rings….

******TheDarkness6000** says: Uhh..That's…nice? I thought we killed the author in the last cliché.

******YourNobody** says: You could never kill an author, Riku.

******TheDarkness6000** says: Amazing that you're here, Roxas.

******YourNobody** says: Yep, the author completely ignored the fact that there is no possible way I can be here. If you've haven't noticed another little fact: my spelling and grammar is way better than poor little Sora's.

******BlondhairedEMO **says: I know I'm supposed to do something heroic and badass but ever since Square Enix mes-

******Tehkeyblademaster **says: I am now going to cut you off in mid sentence because you can't do that on any IM program. So Cloud, shut up!

******BlondhairedEMO** says: Fine! Be like that! I'm going to go kill Sephy!

******TheDarkness6000** says: He's already dead.

******1wingedANGEL** has signed on

******1wingedANGEL** says: I LIIIIIVE!

******YourNobody** says: Does anybody else wonder how the hell we all have AIM?

******1wingedANGEL** says: Not to mention really obvious screen names to…

******BlondhairedEMO** says: dun dun dun dun!

**Pyro705** has signed on

**Pryo705 **says:  
Cause every time we touch I get this feeling  
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast  
I want this to last  
Need you by my side

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I might have more up later. If there are any cliche's you want to see, let me know!


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